


Shepard has PTSD and a phobia of loneliness: discuss

by adexia



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Thane Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5326745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adexia/pseuds/adexia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This has been floating around in my head a couple days and because I love to suffer I wrote it. Please note I did not do heavy research into PTSD for this, since I wrote it in about 30 minutes, but I'm hoping I conveyed it well enough.</p><p>Takes place after the end of ME3. AU where Thane lives because I don't like to suffer THAT much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shepard has PTSD and a phobia of loneliness: discuss

\--she’s alone on Mindoir, everyone she knew and grew up with dead or taken, too afraid to turn on the distress signal in case the batarians come back, she’s certain she’ll die here, God why won’t her sister’s blood wash off her hands--

\--and she’s alone on Akuze, everyone in the unit dead, her friends and good soldiers massacred by the thresher maws, she radios for help but she can’t tell if anyone answers, the roars and screams echo in her head and she can’t carry her severed arm and the radio at the same time--

\--and she’s alone in space, it’s her turn to die, slowly suffocating and freezing thanks to that ship coming out of nowhere, her vision darkens and her last thought is of her crew, all she can do is pray for their safety--

\--and she’s alone on Earth, not in danger but not in contact with anyone she trusts, she thinks of Thane and tries to contact him but there’s no answer, there’s never an answer, she thinks she might lose herself if she can’t get back into space--

\--and she’s alone in the hospital, pacing in the crowded waiting room among the other survivors of the Cerberus assault, please God let Thane live, his scars from the transplant have barely healed and he should have stayed out of the way--

\--and she’s alone, the Reapers have been destroyed but she’s so alone, she’ll never see anyone she loves again--

\--and suddenly she’s awake in bed, gasping for breath and sitting up so fast that the blankets are thrown back. Thane is sitting next to her in a heartbeat, waving their bedside lamps on with a gesture. He says something, but she doesn’t know what, she just has to make sure he’s real. She reaches out to touch his face, and instead his hand finds hers.

“Siha,” he says, the light rumble of his voice finally reaching her ears. “Astrid. Look at me.”

Astrid Shepard does as bid, turning her blue eyes to his sable. The sound of her name from another’s mouth calms her. “I’m here,” Thane says, placing her left hand on his cheek and his right on her left. “Do you want me to get your prosthetic?”

She shakes her head, leaning into the feeling of his cool and pebbly skin. “I’m fine,” she says, keeping focused on Thane while she begins to come down from the attack. “Just nightmares.”

He hums the way he does when he knows she’s fibbing, but otherwise makes no comment. She moves closer and rests her cheek on his chest, letting the familiar texture calm her. “I didn’t mean to wake you, Thane. I’m sorry.”

“I’ve woken you the same way plenty of times,” Thane reassures her, running a hand through her coarse, dark hair in that particular way she likes. “Seems it was your turn to pay me back.”

It takes a few more moments of Thane talking--that always does the trick, helps to ground Shepard back into reality after one of these episodes--the lights are back off and they’re lying down together again, Shepard with her arm wrapped around Thane. “Thank you for being here,” she murmurs. “I think it’s what I need more than anything in the galaxy.”


End file.
